Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Break Tiiiiiiyme

@ Work:

I’ve planned my work for 3 days to just do 3 things

  • Complete evaluation of the test that was conducted on Nov 29th along with posting of result to schools
  • Add all those attractive books and journals sitting on my desk and in the cupboards to the library system. Publish them to the junta at office
  • Get to up to speed with the new training and learning enabler system and stop cribbing about it being on SAP

With no pals to hang around with, I’m becoming a workaholic. Thankfully gtalk is not yet blocked on the network. A virtual social life is better than none.

@ Home:

- Thethu still has exams going on. Waiting for her to finish and then do something useful with herself. It’ll help keep her temper and tongue in check :)

- Leah’s learnt to scream that high pitched scream. I’m thankful I’m not at home when she gets into her screaming fits

- Joel finally got his school identity card. It looks real neat. Sigh! My baby boy’s looking so grown up with that tag around his neck.

@ Neither of these places:

- I wish for lots of music CDs and all those songs I used to love listening to but just don’t have the time or can’t get my hands on to. Grooveshark’s nice but then I can’t sit at the comp at home for more than 10 minutes in a week.

- I wish for meeting old friends and catching up on their lives. Miss the agnesangels. Facebook and Orkut helps but not much.

- I wish for plenty of gifts that will make me smile every time I see them. (Santa are you listening?)

- I wish for no more heart aches

- I wish for good health to every kid born and yet to be born

- I wish for … sigh! This wish list is never going to end :)

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Ever noticed?

It’s funny how you expect things to happen and they never do. And when you don’t expect anything, they just don’t either!

 

On the work front,

-          D has left work spot. A is on leave and her transfer to Chennai seems definite. J will be back on Jan 11th.

-          In the meanwhile, Ap – new lady – joined this Mon. P joins next week. Lots of KT to be given. Once that’s done, dump the entire load of dept admin work on them. Will concentrate on library only. Got to figure out a way for them to give a status report by eod or eow.

-          Travelling between 2 offices has come to adjustable halt. This week I travel just for tomorrow. Very happy about that. Fridays in the new office is a pretty good mood boost.

-          Glad that I won’t have major loads on my head related to admin. Library is another whole load I’ll take care of from Monday.

-          Life without my buddies at work seems ok since I’m very occupied from the time I step in to the time I step out. I hate to think of the time otherwise. I’m going to miss them a lot more than I ever imagined :(

 

Non-work front,

-          Leah turned a year old on 9th November. Celebrated her birthday with just family – Abu, Nanna, Thethu, D, A, Joel and Ibba nanna. Thankfully she had 2 teeth to show up for her first celebration. My hunt for the perfect dress for her will have to wait another year. But hey! searching for ‘The’ dress, landed up with 4 dresses for her :)

-          Joel and she had a gala time with the cake. Me too. I can’t get enough of Crumbz pastries. Will try Bon Bons again before this year end.

-          2 more cakes by Nov end – 1 for mom’s birthday and 1 for mom and dad’s wedding anniversary. Joel’s a thorough Black Forest cake guy.

-          Had a tiny cyst removed on the anniversary day. Everything was fine till Leah banged her knee into the operated area. Either my threshold limit for pain has increased or the local anesthetic was still effective. Dull ache now though in the area

-          Shopping is fun. Wedding gift shopping is a pain. I hate gold or saree shopping but that’s what I finally landed up doing. And gold was like 3 times in a row! I’m sure Chemmanur and Alukkas hate my guts.

-          U got married. I’m glad she got married in Mangalore. Glad that I could attend her reception at least. Would have loved to see the whole marriage process. Saw her photographs today. Cursing that I wasn’t there. She looked lovely. And they look the made for each other pair.

-          Wish I could make to Hyd at least for A’s wedding reception. No luck there. And no luck to get her over phone twice. Decided not to disturb the 2 love birds :)

-          The bee stings. Didn’t like it much. The thought and urge to squash it was pretty strong. Have decided to give it another chance.

 

On the crazy dream front,

-          Dreamed that my parents or sis told me that the papers were filled news about my company. Why? It was asked to move out of the SEZ area. He he he.

 

 

They say

Home is where the heart is. I’ve no home :(

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Not happy

Been thinking. I’m not sure when I began the thinking part. Just that thinking is a process that was and still is till date a major part of what I do every single day for the past few months. The thoughts came. The thoughts stayed. They shook me up. A lot.

 

Why? Becoz in the end, just 3 words came up real huge: Cheat, Dishonest, Liar. Am I talking about me? Yes and No.

 

Why Yes? Although I don’t like to be called or identified as any those 3 unpleasant words, I know that I have been that at some time or another.

 

Why No? How honest are you? Haven’t you cheated at least once? And no lies till date?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Some noise

There’s much going on. And I’m too tied up with things at work and home to take a break and write a post. I don’t like breaks in a blog. And mine’s got plenty showing up more frequent than not.

 

@ Work:

-          J goes on Mat leave by end of Sep. Already started taking care of few of her activities. Doesn’t help when appraisals are close and so are the certification deadlines.

-          Just 2 more things to wrap up on library front. And then it’s a little bit of peace. I hope to complete them all before the coming weekend arrives.

-          D is back from her leave. Worried about her more often than not. I pray that she has the strength to face each day with the same calm that she shows externally. She’s too nice a person to have suffered and gone through so much.

-          SV seems to be changing a few feathers. Hope this is for the good. And not just for a rating.

-          A’s feet seldom touch planet earth. Even if she is on earth, she’s more in Hyderabad or Singapore. :)

 

@ Home:

-          Baby Leah is fast. Fast in picking up a lot of stuff when compared to her brother. She’s already walking within 10 months. And she’s a bundle of energy my parents can’t keep up with now. :(

o   Leah’s managed to get stuck in difficult-to-pull-out-from spaces

o   She’s protective of her bro. She scolded my dad once when he scolded Joel

o   She tries to imitate my dad’s tone when he calls out to Chocky the dog

o   Her current interest is climbing up the stairs and has managed to get over all the obstacles placed before her to reach there. I’m proud and worried about her.

o   And she’s a constant source of amusement with her hide and seek game of holding a shawl or cloth to hide her face.

-          Joel the Kindergarten Level 1 boy is all smiles when he has to go to school. The part he doesn’t like is waking up. Leah manages to get him in the mood if she’s awake before him. He’s learnt so much that my head spins when I have to read through his school diary ‘portions for the month’ section.

o   He’s managed to make Leah cry as much as she makes him

o   He loves to do his homework as soon as he’s home

o   He still is unable to pronounce ‘R’ though the efforts are more obvious from his side now

o   He prefers speaking in English at home now. My dad’s going to have a fit :)

o   He is now Abu’s, mama’s and Leah’s boy. Nanna and Thethu will figure in later I guess.

o   He misses his dad and Uncle V a lot. Though speaking to them and watching them on the comp tickle him to bits.

 

Me:

-          Don’t know what to do with the bee.

-          I don’t have a life of my own anymore. I’m not sorry about this. Just miss it once in a while.

-          Thank God for friends and thank God for icecreams, pastries, biscuits, vegetables and bread. Amen!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

It did work

And I hope to be back more often than not. The joelamrit blog has ceased. What remains is this one. And this one’s going to be filled with Joel, Leah, work, non-work, personal, spiritual and don’t know what else kind of posts :)

 

Feels good to write freely as the thought flows. Well! in my head the thoughts don’t have many backspace or delete buttons being hit.

 

Cursor blinks here…

 

Time to get on with work. Shall post in later

 

I love this space :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Test message

Trying to blog after a very long time. Hope this works.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Faith rediscovered

Thanks to the rating process I've now found as much as I tried to live my life without God it just ain't possible to do so. Rediscovering that I do still believe in Him.

Rating process first discussion happened this morning. It was bland since there was no answer to the question about on what count was I given the lowest rating. So discussion has been deferred to coming Monday.

Didn't go for my swimming classes today. Got a poky pain in my neck and left shoulder. I've just taken it easy and haven't done much at all. Planning to go pick up a sandwich on my way home.

Leah is full of 'ghee gees' and smiles today. Can't sulk much when she's around. And my sense of humor's coming back too. Mmmmuah Leah! :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Leah turns over :)

It's 3 days since I learnt that I've been rated as below average by my dear boss. It's a nasty shock. Would love to say more here about how I feel and what I think of the boss man. But not going to do so.

Instead I'm going to concentrate on the good that's been happening in my life. It's 10 days since I've started learning how to swim. Today's got me so exhausted that I could barely move my feet. With a little rest and Leah's entertainment, felt good enough to get dressed and come to My Favorite CyberCafe to check on mails and of course post this.

At 3:05 pm today, Leah finally was able to turn on to her tummy without anyone's help. I guess all the coaching and encouragement from Kala and Dad helped her. Now that she knows that she can turn, she keeps trying to do so whenever she's awake. No more placing her alone on beds anymore.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Water babe

Well I'm not a water babe. I love the water but haven't learnt to swim till I signed up for the swimming classes last week. Since then I've learnt to bubble when under water, hold my breath and become a mushroom (weird thing to call the posture), float on water with head in water and now trying to learn to propel myself forward using my hands and feet.
Coach Vidya also is trying to get us get over our fear for deep waters by making us straight jump into 10 feet water and come up by cycling (I call it kicking because I do seem to kick more than cycle) and try to stay afloat.
Fear of water is slowly going away. I guess I'll be really happy when I've actually learnt to swim without breaks and increased stamina considerably to become an amateur swimmer. In the meantime, if I lose inches waist below and lose all those extra kgs I've accumulated over a period of 5 years, all the better.
Noticed that I sleep better now. Don't mind the tan. Got a cream to take care of the burns. And I sure hope to continue swimming for a very long time. :)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Marching on

Been busy at home. It's school for Joel, groceries, provisions, bills to be paid...etc.etc on most weekdays. Rest of the time I don't know what to do with myself. Hence become a member at a local library. Came across a writer who studied in Mangalore and is nuts when it comes to writing. Reading his book 'The Revised Kama Sutra'. Check out his blog (http://richardcrasta.blogspot.com/) when possible. Have already told the library to get complete sequels of fantasy fiction books. Can you believe they have part 2 of a book and not 1 and 3 in a triology? That gets me real mad. They haven't even purchased Brisingr (3rd books Christopher Paolini's dragon story). Trying to gather my courage and finally join up swimming classes at the local pool here. Don't know where I'm going to find a swim suit that's going to fit me. Most of the time I've seen suit sizes about 10 times smaller than I am. Sheesh! I didn't know skinny was in again!

V day went on ok in Mangalore. This year heard that one couple finally got married thanks to Rama Sene. They couldnt' afford to get married so happily dipped into Rama Sene's funds. Good for them. In the meanwhile, I think I should get divorced and keep the kids and claim for maintenance or something like that. I see myself as a single mom now. It's a major change from the view I had when I was in high school which is unmarried till I meet the right guy. Learnt there is no right guy. But kids are a reality. If I do meet someone in the meanwhile when in my single mom state I think I'll tell him to stay where he is and indulge in a long distance romance. No more marriage for me. I've got better things to do besides become disillusioned with a 'family staying together' dream. :)
Leah will turn 4 months old on 9th Mar and she refuses to turn over on to her tummy. I don't blame the kid. She's as lazy as i feel right now. Joel will be playing the role of a monkey on his school day on 17th Mar. Last working day of school is 27th Mar. And the guy has 4 holidays in all coming up already. got to hunt for some vacation programs for him else I'll have to quit and stay at home to help the maid.

I don't believe in my wedding anniversaries any more. On my 1st one, I was pregnant with joel. 2nd one I was in hospital with Joel when he got circumcised. After that I don't remember. I think Amrith sent me a bunch of flowers once when I was at work or maybe that was for my birthday. that's abt all i can remember.

Got to post pics of the kids when I get a net connection at home. Right now I'm all for cyber cafes :)

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Birthday

Happy Birthday Joel. Glad that he liked the cake and the candle routine.

For his 5th birthday, I sure hope to make it something to look out for. All these years of low key celebrations will be pushed aside. Leah can wait her turn when she turns 5 too. Until then, it's going to be years of patience and sacrifice - read that as the kids and my patience being tested and me making a whole bunch of sacrifices.

Now to head to the store and grab a bag of chocolates to send to school on Monday. :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sometimes love just ain't enough

It's a bit odd that I remember these lyrics (sometimes love just ain't enough) from a song right now. But I just had to get them out of my head.

Some things are meant to be. Sometimes they aren't!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy V day if I can say so

Leah's fine. She's discovered she's got a voice she can use to attract attention and screeeeech. If she continues this today, heading to the doc. Cause i think it's colic. Joel's fine. Competes for my attention when I've got to feed Leah. And last night was hell. One screeching, the other wailing and crying for his grand dad (my dad). I'm not a great mom. I've lost my patience. I've lost my sense of humor. I've lost everything inside me that used to make me want to make others happy. I've turned into a mean, rude, wanting to be alone, b****. Just haven't reached the stage where i'll be using a lot of ugly language yet.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

In a jiffy

Been away for such a long time. And now when I'm finally sitting at this comp, my mind's gone blank. Starting with what comes to my mind first. Leah :)
Giving birth to Leah in Nov was a total surprise. Had prepared myself for another son. Leah was a cute little surprise. Never thought that life could be any more interesting with a baby. It is with her. She's 3 months old now and can recognise the folks around her. I realised that this morning since she kept staring at dad and didn't smile at him. Not even once. But the moment she saw me, her face lit up. Oh well! here comes another baby who's going to cling to me till she knows she can happily be on her own with confidence. Until then, lots of hand holding to do. She loves watching Joel. And got to start blogging about this baby girl once I get my net connection at home.
In the meanwhile, Amrith left to Abu Dhabi in Dec. He got just 20 days with Leah. So much for trying to live together as a family.
Moved into our flat on Jan 11th - Happy Wedding Anniversary to me. Spent the day just trying to organize my room. The mess it was that day is considerably less. Now it's just one suitcase to put away. Don't know when I'm going to get around to that.
Life is ok. And not ok. Miss having Amrith around. Since the hurried christening of Leah, I've been on my toes doing a whole lot of jobs - things that were normally shared between us are now on my shoulders. Who said growing up or being the grown up was 'it'? I'd rather be the 5 year old who still believes in Santa Claus.