Leah's fine. She's discovered she's got a voice she can use to attract attention and screeeeech. If she continues this today, heading to the doc. Cause i think it's colic. Joel's fine. Competes for my attention when I've got to feed Leah. And last night was hell. One screeching, the other wailing and crying for his grand dad (my dad). I'm not a great mom. I've lost my patience. I've lost my sense of humor. I've lost everything inside me that used to make me want to make others happy. I've turned into a mean, rude, wanting to be alone, b****. Just haven't reached the stage where i'll be using a lot of ugly language yet.
Here I was thinking I suck at handling multiple roles thrust on me. I shouldn't 'crib'. That it was 'going to be ok' and everything would 'be better'. The kind of (non) support from KA made me believe that I'm never going to get it right. But when the same is thrust on that person, the reactions are almost the same as mine, only they are voiced out, loudly. And it's hardly 3 months into handling a few things solo. There are various ways I could help. I choose not to. I was flawed anyway.
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