Thursday, April 17, 2008

End of a funny Thur

Gearing up for another rotten mood day, I was in for 2 pleasant surprises.

1. My colleagues - Anitha and Deepthi - were so concerned that I was on a diet and not taking care of myself. Their concern really touched. And no, I'm not on a diet. I'm just tired and exhausted and drained for reasons I came to know thanks to a mailer. Mood swings and exhaustion are part of this phase of my pregnancy. I'm glad that nothing is 'wrong' with me.

2. Jeethy turned up at the library and helped me get a lot of books rearranged and shelved. A thoughtful gesture from her end also included getting me a box of salted raw mangoes and mango pickle. Yummy! :)

Weird Dreams

This morning I woke up around 6:00 AM to switch off my alarm. Couldn't think of getting out of bed even though Joel was awake next to me. So stayed in bed and drifted off again. During that time I had a weird dream.

I could see my school, the teachers, students playing in the grounds, the classrooms and a lot of faces from that time. I entered each class just to see whom I could recognise. The faces were younger. So many people and most of whom I tried smiling at or tried talking to. But they looked through me or past me. I realised that I was my grown up self. So that could be a reason. But then, I couldn't see myself in that crowd.

Tried finding out the date of that particular day. The closest I got was 05-05. But one of the students said it was 5th April. The year wasn't clear.

In and out of this dream, I saw the younger versions of some of my colleagues from work. They responded to me when I spoke to them.

A few of my relatives too showed up and I was excited about showing them around. But in the end, I was never able to find myself there.

Woke up around 7:45 AM feeling very disoriented.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

No sugar

Dr. Malathi asked to me get some tests done. Got the results last evening. Everything's fine and normal. I'm breathing with a huge sigh of relief. Now it's just the weight thing that worries me. Though exhaustion hasn't gone away. Noticed that I'm fine from the time I wake up till around 10:00 AM. After that it's a see-saw of moods and energy levels. Both haven't been high at any point of time.

I'm prone to cry more easily now. Keep having unpredictable mood swings. 2 incidents that still shake me up:

1. The evening I thought Joel had an electric shock. Turned out to be my dad switching off the mains and the house being plunged into darkness. I was resting at that time and all I had heard was a crack and then Joel crying in the darkness. Was so relieved to know that nothing happened to him.

2. Amrith telling me he had a ear bleed. The idiot used a fork to clean out his ear wax.

Sometimes I think that everyone's out to make sure I don't rest or sleep. At the other times feel like there's some major conspiracy to make as uncomfortable as possible. And neither is definitely intentional. What the heck! this pregnancy is not as smooth as the first time. I might as well get used to it and stop being paranoid!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Time to re-learn

I'm pregnant again. Came to know about it on 14th March, the day after Joel's Annual School Day. It took about that whole evening and night for the realisation to sink in.

With this realisation, came the understanding of why I was feeling exhausted by the end of a day, and why I had headaches so frequently.

First person to know this time was BV. Then  Sangi. Then called Amrith and told him. Broke the news to my parents next morning and later on to Vivek. Over the past few days have informed a few colleagues at work and most of my friends. Of all reactions I received when breaking the news of this pregnancy, I liked Sangi's the best.

My two worries this time are weight and sugar. Have decided that this time I'm not going to be a lazy mom. Since I'm staying with dad and mom, I'm using this opportunity to walk every night around the house. Feeling good about it. I'm going veggie again as I did with Joel. And, this time I have a whole bunch of cravings and with almost non-existant nausea.

This time I've been able to see the baby during my first visit to Dr. Malathi. Everything looks fine and normal. Or at least that's what she said. Tomorrow I visit her again and most probably be told to get some tests done.

I've forgotten what pregnancy felt like the first time. Thanks to Mom and Dr. Spock, I'm re-learning a few things. I guess I'm going to enjoy this phase a lot more than I did the first time, no matter how much I crave for raw mangoes :).