The world I live in

Yesterday was hell. I hope it never repeats again. Started off ok but the more I got into my day I hated it. By night I was too exhausted and drained emotionally and mentally. To add to it was a cold and cough to ensure I didn’t get much sleep either.   High points of yesterday: A user confirming my Advanced Help Desk request with a positive and encouraging comment. Attending Iftaar party in office with Anitha and Deepthi. Picked up 2 packets of chicken biryani for home. Being able to complete a few tasks at work which were long pending including sorting through the books selected for library during exhibition time.   Low points of yesterday: Pushing myself beyond limits at home and still getting to hear about ‘it’ Joel and his crankiness Sis and her attitude No time to get in touch with myself and unwind peacefully Rotten stupid idiotic thoughts   Not sure how I’m going to get through today. I feel totally crushed and squeezed on the in...

Been thinking about whether I should give up the one I love most or not. Haven’t decided yet. Not an easy decision to make. How did I reach this stage? I’m tired of being plagued by these crazy, irritating, bugging and stupid thoughts that just jump out of nowhere and steal my peace.   On the pregnancy front, met doc last evening. She’s asked me to get my ultrasound done sooner than later i.e. by 30 th September. A physician check too ordered after Monday’s bout of 2 hours of feeling faint and out of sorts. The weather sucks. The heat’s making me feel more miserable. My back aches more often than not. I’m one kg less than what I weighed finally when I was carrying Joel. The thought of putting on any more scares me more than anything else. This baby’s definitely a boy going by the way it’s been kicking and trying to play football inside. The bright side of this visit was that the doc said I’m due on 18 th instead of 20 th N...

I’m so happy to find this: http://mediaconverter.org . Will work on converting all the .3gp video clippings I have of Joel and a few instances. Prob is that I don’t know where to store the converted files. Home comp needs to be upgraded. Got to reminder Narendra to send me the blessed quotes for the comp with different configurations. Personal loan was closed during the beginning of Sept. So that’s about 2.5k saved a month. Can direct that fund into paying off home loan or making the amount grow bit faster. I’m more for the second option Got to talk to Colaco and find out what strategy to follow. If all goes well, within a month after delivery, I guess Amrith and I will finally move into the flat. Hoping that Amrith’s final interview in Bangalore works out. If it does, then I guess life should be a little less of a financial struggle but a whole lot more juggling on the home front. At work, although I have no issues with anyone I just feel like I should be doing more. The prob is th...

Mangalore's been a place where clashes based on religion were minimum. Looks like no more. Hired goons have got a lot of political backing. Frequency of negative incidents is increasing. It's a group of goons trying to show their power and might saying they are doing it for the universal good of their fellow religion brethren.   The Oct incident a few years back started off with cow slaughter. Before that because of one guy from one religion teased a girl from another religion. This time it's conversions. The goons are claiming they did it. The folks in charge are turning a blind eye on their activities. What got me real bad was that the cops who were supposed to be protecting people damaged property and went to the extent of assaulting ladies.   I'm tired of the muck and dirt and filth. I'd like to do something constructive and get that crap out of here. Only I'm clueless.  

In a span of 4 hours (3:00 AM to 7:00 AM), I’ve had 3 weird and kind of scary dreams this morning.   Dream 1 : BV is in Mangalore. And we’re taking a local bus ride to I don’t know where. I can see the bus approaching Ladyhill stop. And I know that I’ll have to get off at that stop. I have my helmet in hand. BV will continue onward. He’s telling me about some person from Kashmir coming down to Mangalore for treatment of cancer or something serious like that which I can’t recollect correctly right now. I was wondering about 2 things: 1. Why am I holding my helmet if I’m in a bus. Vaguely remember that I think I parked my vehicle in Fr. Mullers Hospital parking lot. 2. Why should a person from Kashmir come to Mangalore when there are so many other hospitals better equipped to deal with his disease. Is he Mangalorean or something happening in Mangalore that I’m unaware of?   Dream 2 : This one has a serial killer in it. ...