The world I live in

Happy Birthday Joel. Glad that he liked the cake and the candle routine. For his 5th birthday, I sure hope to make it something to look out for. All these years of low key celebrations will be pushed aside. Leah can wait her turn when she turns 5 too. Until then, it's going to be years of patience and sacrifice - read that as the kids and my patience being tested and me making a whole bunch of sacrifices. Now to head to the store and grab a bag of chocolates to send to school on Monday. :)

It's a bit odd that I remember these lyrics (sometimes love just ain't enough) from a song right now. But I just had to get them out of my head. Some things are meant to be. Sometimes they aren't!

Leah's fine. She's discovered she's got a voice she can use to attract attention and screeeeech. If she continues this today, heading to the doc. Cause i think it's colic. Joel's fine. Competes for my attention when I've got to feed Leah. And last night was hell. One screeching, the other wailing and crying for his grand dad (my dad). I'm not a great mom. I've lost my patience. I've lost my sense of humor. I've lost everything inside me that used to make me want to make others happy. I've turned into a mean, rude, wanting to be alone, b****. Just haven't reached the stage where i'll be using a lot of ugly language yet.

Been away for such a long time. And now when I'm finally sitting at this comp, my mind's gone blank. Starting with what comes to my mind first. Leah :) Giving birth to Leah in Nov was a total surprise. Had prepared myself for another son. Leah was a cute little surprise. Never thought that life could be any more interesting with a baby. It is with her. She's 3 months old now and can recognise the folks around her. I realised that this morning since she kept staring at dad and didn't smile at him. Not even once. But the moment she saw me, her face lit up. Oh well! here comes another baby who's going to cling to me till she knows she can happily be on her own with confidence. Until then, lots of hand holding to do. She loves watching Joel. And got to start blogging about this baby girl once I get my net connection at home. In the meanwhile, Amrith left to Abu Dhabi in Dec. He got just 20 days with Leah. So much for trying to live together as a family. Moved into our f...