The world I live in

Days and nights when I don't dream are good days. Today wasn't a good one. Had a dream that ruined my sleep and left with a residue of annoyance and leading me towards despair. The dream had teenage J behaving like bratty kid. He had to open the back to door to enter the car but instead jumps into the backseat through the window. In the process his feet hit a man in white with a red and white checkered head scarf.  The man asks J to apologise. The brat diesn't. So he takes J's shoes and cuts through them. I see J scream out as if it affects his mental state and I can't do anything to stop that whole thing from playing out. That's when I woke up.

Another dream. This time a wedding or should I say re-wedding to someone not known.  Place has got some ancient practices in rooms for the brude's prep. Bride is me. Unsure what is going on. A simple thing like having a bath is some long complicated procedure. A part of family , dad, Deep, Kev and Nav present. Omlette has an appearance towards the end and he's on his cell asking for another chance. I think he was talking to mom and she was telling him it was too late.

It's suffocating. It's panic inducing. It's downright scary.  Wjy? I don't know. Even in a dream it was. The dream had me stuck in  showerstall. And no way to get out. No one helping me get out.  Green and yellow tiles. Shower water too hardly coming through.  The showers were after a ssim in a pool just to wash off chemicals and sand(?). Joe from office too was there in it. He was in the next stall and he didnt hear me or if he did, he didnt respond.  Waking up with one's heart pounding and almost screaming.. i hate scary dreams.

Was in a space where houses seemed packed together, barely any gaps between them. But surprisingly when walking through the streets there seemed a lot of gap between them. They looked small. One house in particular looked pretty spacious eith limited furniture, a family living in it where a little boy was trying to play with his football indoors. Another I remember seemed luxurious, like a prestigious hotel or palace. 

Was in Bangalore to attend an occassion celenration with my parents and children. We were about to settle for the night. And I see the power come back on. There's bright light outside. We all go out from the place where we are after waking up the kids.  See light rays eat people up. All of us get engulfed by one. But my daughter and I still survive.  I see a lady who thinks her car can sail over water. When the car starts sinking she starts swimming. We, who were standing on land, suddenly sink into water. It's bright and we can breathe (which is odd) and then ..  I woke up. 7.15 PM.

I'm in a car with another girl. We're in the front seat. I don't know who's driving. I'm seated on the left, her on the right. We're having an animated conversation about releasing pressure at a certain point on the hand near the thumb. Outside it's a bright beautiful day. The road is scenic with the water (beach?l) on the right and a hill/mountain on the left. She is slim, with long hair, full of life. She holds my right hand to demonstrate the pressure point concept. While we're this conversation I remember that someone else knew how to do it and was successful each time to break pressure and as I tell her and hold her left hand to show it, I look outside the car to my left and I see movement from above, so I look up. I see something hurtling down and it enters the car, into my clothes from behind near left shoulder. I realise it's a snake and I freeze. I don't move. I tell the girl/woman it's a snake and i can't move. I had felt it...

Woke up thinking I had my reading glasses on. Actually checked when I opened my eyes. 😂

I wonder what triggers me to dream. I missed my bag on the bus. And by the time I got it back it didnt have everything that was supposed to be in it. - Dream this morning

This one had a policeman alert me that someone was claiming my property was his. Go to check on it with Dad's help and find out VKN is behind it. Try recollecting if i have signed any documents (written in Malayalam or some other language) to give away what's mine. Initially thought that it was not possible that VKN could be behind this. Later get to know it is possible and probably true after interacting with him. I know I thought of hubby and the kids. Woke up with a 'No it doesn't belong to you' thought resonating through my head.

1 related to rapes and murders.  The other related to a US family trip in November and the confusion over what to pack. Sigh!

They just don't go away. Dreams last night were a total mix: - Dad making some cutting remark as usual - Trying to escape a sudden flood caused by rain. Was thankful that I was confident this time about swimming. Bad part was I think I screwed my phone and was left with no way to communicate - One more that I fail to recollect at this time. Most probably as disconnected from the previous two and makes sense in itself.

21 feb, 2016. 3:35 AM. Dream. Too many people in the Udupi house. Acha still there. Dont know abt Ajit and Amrith. Dont see Joel and Leah in dream either. Relatives and their relatives and dont know who else are there in the house. Remember seeing some old people and foreigners - ladies in specific, in their late 40's or 50's. Dark brown/blonde hair. Plain face. Dont know why I am in Udupi. I start asking them to leave. Pushing them out. Screaming at them. No fear. They start increasing and  spreading all over the place. Too much noise chaos and in the name of checking, too much damage caused to security, and cables and home things. Too much property destroyed. I remember too late to call the police. Even then telephone line is not working. Every time i try calling I hear Mathew uncle voice. Vanitha the maid tells me its out of order when she had tried using it in the past. There are still some stragglers in the house. It's evening and a few old men with Acha. Dont know...

Looking back I should have not turned my back on the dream that I had the night before the big day. It was a warning and I didn't heed it. A person walking in front of an oncoming vehicle repeatedly and getting hit. A snake that never let me rest. It didn't make sense then. Now, it speaks volumes. Perhaps the future would negate that warning and I will dream a better dream, someday, a dream of better and more good things to come. Until then, I face reality. And face it I will. Dear God, I don't know what the next second holds. Just don't let go of my hand.

When exhausted or stressed, dreams are an outlet, perhaps. Or a way to express. Or a warning (?). In less than 2 hours, I've undergone close to death experience when trying to learn about content writing. I was successful in the learning but accidents, which can happen anytime, were what made me miserable and made me uneasy. I've woken up to a cool January afternoon. My nephew's hand constantly touches me while he sleeps beside me seeking reassurance. I am happy that I am no longer in pain. Can dreams connect people? Or are mine a sign of things to come?

In a span of 4 hours (3:00 AM to 7:00 AM), I’ve had 3 weird and kind of scary dreams this morning.   Dream 1 : BV is in Mangalore. And we’re taking a local bus ride to I don’t know where. I can see the bus approaching Ladyhill stop. And I know that I’ll have to get off at that stop. I have my helmet in hand. BV will continue onward. He’s telling me about some person from Kashmir coming down to Mangalore for treatment of cancer or something serious like that which I can’t recollect correctly right now. I was wondering about 2 things: 1. Why am I holding my helmet if I’m in a bus. Vaguely remember that I think I parked my vehicle in Fr. Mullers Hospital parking lot. 2. Why should a person from Kashmir come to Mangalore when there are so many other hospitals better equipped to deal with his disease. Is he Mangalorean or something happening in Mangalore that I’m unaware of?   Dream 2 : This one has a serial killer in it. ...

This morning I woke up around 6:00 AM to switch off my alarm. Couldn't think of getting out of bed even though Joel was awake next to me. So stayed in bed and drifted off again. During that time I had a weird dream. I could see my school, the teachers, students playing in the grounds, the classrooms and a lot of faces from that time. I entered each class just to see whom I could recognise. The faces were younger. So many people and most of whom I tried smiling at or tried talking to. But they looked through me or past me. I realised that I was my grown up self. So that could be a reason. But then, I couldn't see myself in that crowd. Tried finding out the date of that particular day. The closest I got was 05-05. But one of the students said it was 5th April. The year wasn't clear. In and out of this dream, I saw the younger versions of some of my colleagues from work. They responded to me when I spoke to them. A few of my relatives too showed up and I was excited about show...

The place is all mine. Well, not entirely. A loan repayment in 25 years time, will truly make it mine :)

By Friday evening, I simmered down to the extent that I could joke about my 'angry woman' face. Had decided not to do anything or talk to anyone about it. But just let it be and do what I was expected to do. Then look at my situation again and see if it still needed to 'fixed'. I looked forward to the longish weekend (since Monday is an off for 'Thiru Onam') of doing nothing but reading, watching a little TV, talking to Acha and generally doing nothing important. By the time Amrith, Joel and I reached home at Udupi, we were greeted with a locked door with lights on inside. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Tried contacting Kala. Her phone was at home. Finally got through to Joe and came to know that: Acha had been passing urine and stools without his knowledge had turned pretty weak, with his legs buckling every time he tried to stand straight. he'd been taken to Hi Tech hospital. We rushed there to see him alright but something definitely seemed out of place...