Meeting a colleague turned friend after about 14 years is a blessing and I was truly blessed to meet a good friend after so long. Hoping to meet more often in the coming years :)
Let go of the old to make way for the new Feel the emotion instead of ignoring it Welcome tears. Not fears. Help yourself first. You ain't good as a dead person to help another. Breathe. Move. Love!
...which also turned into a coping mechanism Just dont expect anything. It hurts real bad when expectations aren't met. No expectations? No hurt. Safe right? The things we do to ourselves to avoid feeling the pain of being hurt which leads to zero trust, and any little ray of sunshine, of hope is blacked out, over time. Talk to that inner child. Comfort it now in a way you expected it way back then.
A recent action of mine generated emotions, a lot of feelings and thoughts. Most were not pleasant at all to experience. Some truths showed up. I may have damaged a relationship with a friend. That and I have to work on building a better relationship with myself.
Understand there's various factors, circumstances apart from what you see, feel and think. Try everything. You may mess up again. So you get up again. And try again. It is worth it.
Oh the joys of reading when seeking answers. And finding answers to questions you long forgot. And it starts to make sense. Then you find yourself ready for another adventure. How do you feel?
You think that you've cultivated or come to a point in a relationship where there is a depth, a closeness and most of all, communication. Nope. Think again! Expectations arose from those thoughts. Chuck the thoughts. Be. Flow. Live!
Our paths and choices impact our lives in such a huge way. Some people find and recognise the love of the lives, some go through life without knowing the joy of one. We're all capable of love, to give and receive. Why then, do some of us hesitate or fear it? What horrible or terrifying experience have we gone through or witnessed to shy away from it? And then, why do some not find when they are so ready for it?
Had a series of bad dreams last night that continued till this morning. Friends parting ways, death approaching, fears suffocating. Why do we have these dreams to rattle us up? Happy Monday to you!
When you realise you are in an 'Oh shit' situation, your biases, values, options are so much more clear. You also are clear about your support ecosystem.
Here I was thinking I suck at handling multiple roles thrust on me. I shouldn't 'crib'. That it was 'going to be ok' and everything would 'be better'. The kind of (non) support from KA made me believe that I'm never going to get it right. But when the same is thrust on that person, the reactions are almost the same as mine, only they are voiced out, loudly. And it's hardly 3 months into handling a few things solo. There are various ways I could help. I choose not to. I was flawed anyway.
The struggle is real. Even if the feelings arise from made up situations or overthinking. If they could be stopped with a snap of fingers, wouldn't that be something!
Her father wasn't around for most of her life. And now when she's faced with the reality of having him around all the time, she's not too keen. Her small world doesn't have much room for him.